poor oscar, thats all you need.
there is something you can put on fences to keep other cats out but it depends if you have fencing all the way around and no other way to get in. i found the cat deterant from pets at home did work in the summer but in the rain it gets washed away which didnt help much. poor little dexter hope he is ok after his scare.

Thanks guys Now we have all calmed down they both seem fine
I do have fencing all the way around my garden angelgirl - I have seen this stuff you can put on the top of fences but it looked rather spiky so I wondered if it hurt them
I'm not sure if a spray would work, as the only way to get in now is to climb over the fence. I don't know if he is neutered or not Veejay but he is certainly old enough
This may just be something that will continue to happen every now and again, the other cat must forget after a while and come back for another look At least Oscar seems to win the fights so that's something
Em x

Once Oscar has calmed down and Dexter has got over the fright you need to get them used to each other ASAP. In my experience it is Oscar who will appear to object to the new kitten and most likely that Dexter won't be phased. It's always the new kitten in my household who just ignores the hissing, waits until the incumbent is curled up asleep somewhere and goes to join them. The older cat might wake up and hiss but when they don't get any reaction they often resort to washing the baby instead With every day that Dexter grows older and more independent he'll lose the need for company to replace his litter mates and other cats he's been used to. It does take a bit of nerve but you do have to let the reactions happen - they very rarely lead to any true aggression. The sooner they are friends, the sooner Oscar will feel he has a wing man watching his back and he'll be less bothered by the intruder.

Of course you are right Oscar does growl and hiss and glare and Dexter backs off
Off out for a bit this afternoon but will have another attempt as soon as I get back
I just have to be brave - I'm sure the cats will sort it out
Em x

the cats will be fine em. of course when you are not home seperate them until you are happy they are going to be ok together. remember its us humans that causes more problems with introducing. hissing and growling is ok and very rarely does the older cat harm a kitten. just relax and all will be fine. introducing 2 adult cats is much harder.

OK more advice needed please - sorry
Oscar just wants to avoid Dexter. He will come into the room Dexter is in but needs coaxing and food. Then he wants to leave.
Dexter hasn't been out of the lounge yet. I am considering letting him explore the hall, stairs, landing and office (first time without Oscar around). Oscar sleeps in the office.
Then I can leave the lounge door open, is it safe to let Dexter follow Oscar upstairs to his 'safe' place yet? I don't want to rush things and upset Oscar too much, but if he just avoids Dexter they will never get acquained properly
It's still only day 3, what would you guys recommend
Em x

Well I can certainly empathise with the wonderful theories about each cat having 'safe' areas and trying to do things according to the book. You know where I'm going don't you I'd open the doors and let them find their own level. Oscar isn't showing any signs of aggression and Dexter won't. If you let them both have the run of the place there will probably come a point where Oscar says 'that's the line you don't cross' - and Dexter will know not to push it any further. Remember Dexter is quite used to being disciplined by older cats. Maybe only his mother and maybe others in the household too. He understands the language. Let Dexter wander and let Oscar be the one you focus on to build his confidence. I've got a feeling Dexter will ensure he gets his share of the attention.

Thanks Toadvs, great advice as always
Tomorrow will be the big day - I don't feel comfortable doing that at night for some reason. It's hard to tell with Oscar but I'd like to believe he wouldn't go further than making noises and staring But I will never know if I don't give them a try with an open run so to speak. Will let you know how it goes
Em x

I find the kitchen floor when there's food going down often leads to a cessation of any hostilities

I agree Toadvs, no time like the present really . You will be surprised how soon they sort themselves Em , honestly